What Bret means to say is...

[size=100:4xcq1a29] : We try to leave New Zealand during the winter there, that's why the band started really. [laughs] That actually was the reason why we started touring overseas, and that's why we became successful. We went to Canada first, and then to Edinburgh for four years in a row, just to get away from New Zealand's winter. I think if New Zealand had a more temperate climate, we would never have left. If we started up in L.A., we probably never would have played beyond our house.

[size=100:4xcq1a29] : ... Winter can be quite a creative time, because you're forced to stay inside and amuse yourself with your imagination.

[size=100:dsdpidv5]Hello, Bret and Jemaine. You're big stars now. Are you besieged by women?

: Yeah, in a bar in Los Angeles a woman flashed me, came right up to me and then just pulled her top up. They were Hollywood boobs. There was a very awkward moment after she flashed me. I just politely said, "
Thank you."


: In a bar in London a man offered me his girlfriend. We'd done a live show and he came up and said, "
I really enjoyed the show and I just want to offer you my girlfriend for the night,"
and then walked off and just left his girlfriend standing there. It was really awkward. My mum was with me."

[size=100:yh947y7w]Presumably you've made a fair bit of dosh now. Blown it on anything outlandish?

: Leather suits.

: You bought a car.

: I bought an old Citroen. An old, cheap, second-hand car. That's my biggest waste of money.

: I haven't really bought anything. I bought a jacket that was £400.

: And omnichords. Jemaine developed an addiction to omnichords, which is an instrument a bit like an autoharp. For a while I'd go to Jemaine's and every day he'd have a new one. A new omnichord would arrive by FedEx. Which is weird because they're all pretty much the same.

: I've got my favourite.

: I mean, you must have one of the most extensive omnichord collections in the world.

: Which is about six.

[size=100:qm1sz2sw] We both had pretty bad jobs when we were roommates. You saw the episode where Bret has to hold a sign? Well, he once had a job where he had to dress up as a boat. Like a tugboat, and give out fliers for rides on the boat. I haven't done anything as embarrassing as that.

[size=100:qm1sz2sw]Looking back at the FotC shoot, are there scenes you particularly enjoyed?
One of my favorites is when I get to throw a peanut butter sandwich in Jemaine's face.
He did enjoy that! Definitely. He put a lot into that. [I liked] a scene where our characters were peer-pressured into taking acid. /.../ We go into a psychedelic song, running around the forest in Beatles clothes.... Bret was so excited the other day [when] we had a cameo by Daryl Hall. /.../
That was a seminal moment of my life.

[size=100:qm1sz2sw]...we're quite low energy. And that's unusual here. /.../ usually people are running on stage with their hands up in the air. And we just...sit there. I think people find that funny, that we're not shouting. There's something funny about being on a big stage and not making a big effort to fill it up. We try to entertain people with our little songs and small gestures.

[size=100:qm1sz2sw]Do you sometimes feel like ambassadors for your country?
I think once the show's on TV, yeah, we could become —
what do you call them? —
mascots for New Zealand. Which is quite concerning, because we portray New Zealanders as total idiots. At the moment, they're proud of our success —
we're on the news every few weeks —
but they don't know how stupid we're gonna make them look.

sargifster wrote:[url='Irregular Flight Patterns' - EW.com][/url]

Bret was so excited the other day [when] we had a cameo by Daryl Hall. /.../
That was a seminal moment of my life.

chrissycubana wrote:Re:

Bret was so excited the other day [when] we had a cameo by Daryl Hall. /.../
That was a seminal moment of my life.

when i first watched that ep, i squeeed out loud as soon as i saw Daryl Hall.

how cool to have met an idol like that in person!

emira wrote:
We should make a tv show and invite Bret and Jemaine to make a cameo.

accordions wrote:

emira wrote:
We should make a tv show and invite Bret and Jemaine to make a cameo.

"
Hi Bret and Jemaine, I would love you to cameo in an upcoming tv show...'Jessie's Bedroom' "


[align=right:1d23f6b7] [/align:1d23f6b7]

[size=100:ixsdjoav]"
Dear Bret and Jemaine,

How can I meet a man who both likes to kiss girls and dresses up like David Bowie on occasion?

P.S. And one who is preferably as freaky as a party in space?"


: Sounds like what you want to meet is me.

: She should just become fictional.

[size=100:pjflmnwy]"
Dear Bret and Jemaine,

I'm a tall girl, six feet, good looking, funny, and intelligent. But for some reason, I never get asked out on a date. Are most guys just not attracted to tall girls unless they're supermodels or something?

Signed, Really Tall Gal

P.S. For some reason, really short guys hit me up. I have nothing against shorter men, but I really would like to look a guy in the eyes and not get a sore back."


: Hmm. To be honest, I think guys are intimidated.

: By height.

: Yeah, 'cause it's seen as something really ...

: ... powerful. It feels like you're outgrowing them.

: But often, tall girls only want to go out with tall guys, so you'd wonder if you were tall enough.

: Yeah, she could just remove a little bit of bone. From the shins and the thighs.

: That's not very helpful, Bret ...

: Stand farther away.

: Stand farther away, tall girl.

[size=100:ncg7snx6]"
Dear boys,

What, in your opinion, is the best romantic dinner to make on a low budget?"


: Um ... a bottle of wine.

: Nice. And?

: Just a bottle of wine.

[size=100:fr13w5wf]"
Dear Bret and Jemaine,

Part of what I love about your comedy is that it's about dating and romance from a nice guy's perspective. Yes, you want to get laid, but you're not jerks about it. Well, I'm having trouble distinguishing these guys from the ones I end up meeting in the college party scene. I'm sure they're out there, but when I end seeing a likely candidate at the bookstore, I don't know what to say. Do you have any tips for meeting nice guys and the best ways to approach them? What could a hot girl--well, I think I'm kind of hot--say that would make you want to know her better?

Signed, Taylor"


: I'm interested, Taylor.

: I'm interested already. But what could she say?

: Well, just "
hello"
would be a big start. There are a lot of nice guys that would get that. I feel like, if you're a nice guy, even trying to pick up a woman seems sexist in itself. That you're taking a position of power.

: Yeah.

: So it'd be good to talk to a nice guy. That's probably enough, I'd say.

: Or you could drop your books in front of him.

: Brilliant. You could fake a cardiac arrest.

[size=100:vkuk23pe]"
Dear Bret and Jemaine,

When a guy breaks up with you and uses the line 'You deserve better,' does he really think that makes it hurt less?"


: Sad.

: That's true, it is sad.

"
I'm apparently bordering on sainthood, 'cause the last three guys I really liked all ended up saying things like that. What am I supposed to do, stop being so awesome? Seriously, do guys think this makes things better?"


: Sounds like there's something wrong with her. {laughs} Sounds like you're trouble. {keeps laughing}

: Bret says.

[size=100:o0splhg5]"
Dear Bret and Jemaine,

After watching your show obsessively, I now can't get enough of men from New Zealand."


: Whoa!

{continues reading}

"
What is the best way for a lady to seduce a New Zealander into taking you out for a kebab? Is there a special technique for getting into a Kiwi's heart?"


: This is from Sara.

: Well, definitely start by going to New Zealand to increase the ratio....

: The likeliness of finding one.

: There, Americans are exotic.

: Good answer.

: It's just very true.

: It will be very easy in New Zealand for you, Sara.

[size=100:eot3qwt6]"
Dear Bret and Jemaine,

Thank you for answering some questions for all the ladies of the BUST readership. Would you give some advice to American men on how to be more Kiwi? I'm a big fan of many Kiwi musicians and actors in addition to you two, and I see a marked difference between Kiwi men and American men. Have you noticed these differences? I'm single, and I'm turned-off by the loud bragging and frat-house mentality of most American men. What tips can you give our men to soften that up a bit and have them be more Kiwi?

From Lisa"


: Well, I would say the American men need to live in a society for 20 to 30 years where it's frowned upon to promote yourself, and that'll soon be taken care of. Also, don't pronounce your vowels. Never admit to being good at anything. And don't wear brand-new clothes.

: Just be more scruffy. Kiwis are scruffy.

: We're a scruffy bunch.

gezyka wrote:

[size=100:rhgx95fk]"
Dear Bret and Jemaine,

How can I meet a man who both likes to kiss girls and dresses up like David Bowie on occasion?

P.S. And one who is preferably as freaky as a party in space?"


: Sounds like what you want to meet is me.

: She should just become fictional.

source: Bust magazine - [url=link][/url] to typed-out post

[size=100:tdk5ntzf]"
Dear Conchords,

I've been in a very committed, heavy relationship for the past five years. The one thing I'd like to improve in the relationship is the spontaneous romanticism. What can you suggest?

Signed, Jenny S."


: {laughing} It's amazing how sincere all this stuff is.

: Well, the irony is, Jenny, that you're asking us in advance how to be more spontaneous.

: Yeah, so just plan the spontaneity.

: What are some spontaneous things that you do, Bret?

: Well, one of my favorite spontaneous things that I do all the time ...

: Regularly ...

: That I do every week ... um ...

: Come on, man, you just need to finish that sentence.

: Is ... take a walk.

: You know what, that's something that I'm not very good at, spontaneity. And I think, relating to Lisa, that's something that should be able to make her men more Kiwi-ish. Oh, and they can walk more. New Zealand men walk more.

: True. Walk more, talk less.

: More walk, less talk. So, spontaneity.

: Back to spontaneity.

: I really want to answer this one, 'cause she sounds like the spark's gone. We've got to help this girl, Jenny S.

: Travel. That's it. What you gotta do is get out of town.

: Yes, because random things are gonna happen.

: Or, I guess, just get out of your neighborhood.

: You're pretty good at this, Bret.

: Yeah.

gezyka wrote:[size=100:68jhrczn]: It will be very easy in New Zealand for you, Sara.

luckym wrote:

gezyka wrote:[size=100:2aqi2m9j]: It will be very easy in New Zealand for you, Sara.

Wow. I really need to go to New Zealand.

[size=100:5agea7jr] ...Comedy is such a strong part of their [British] culture.

You've got to remember, it rains a lot. The weather's pretty bleak.

[size=100:5agea7jr] The tradition in the UK is to develop comedy through radio and from radio to TV, while in America it goes straight to TV. I think that one of the bonuses of the UK system is that a lot of problems in a comedy show are ironed out in the radio stage so that by the time they get to TV they're more prepared and come out stronger. /.../ shows like League of Gentlemen, Little Britain, and even The Mighty Boosh were all radio shows before they became TV shows. It's interesting, once you know the TV version, to look at the radio version and see how it developed.

[size=100:5agea7jr]I've read that it's very difficult to get audiences to go to shows at Edinburgh.
It's very difficult. By the third year we were getting lots of people, but that was after a series of coincidences and lucky breaks.

People do all sorts of tricks to get people to come to their shows.

Including us. We were out in the street pretending to be Cockney ticket scalpers that only had tickets to our shows.

People would buy tickets to the show, show up to the show, and realize that we were the people in the show.

[size=100:8iz9ykb0]Is New York a good place for struggling artists?
It’
s a good city if you want to struggle. It’
s easy to struggle in New York.

[size=100:8iz9ykb0]Is it true there are more sheep than people in New Zealand?
Ten times more. But in America there are probably more ants than people.
More cars than people.

[size=100:1000mctq]Why Kiwis are naturally reticent
‘
In New Zealand, people don’
t like the New Zealand accent, so we weren’
t able to get a TV show there. They watch US shows.’

‘
They don’
t understand their own accents, so they don’
t talk very much.’

[size=100:1000mctq]That’
s weird.
Yep –
it’
s comedy.

[size=100:1000mctq]Does that mean the second season won’
t stand up to the first? What if their diehard audience accuses them of losing their touch or selling out?
We don’
t talk to our original fans any more.
Yeah, they’
ve lost it. We like our original fans’
earlier work much better.

[size=100:gflbgp6z] Britain is like an aunt to us... a kindly aunt.
That makes us roast meals... gives us lollies.

[size=100:gflbgp6z] BBC was great to work there... it was brilliant to work there.
Yeah, it was a dream... come true
It was a cabbagey dream come true.

emira wrote:

[size=100:l8deqssm] Britain is like an aunt to us... a kindly aunt.
That makes us roast meals... gives us lollies.

[size=100:l8deqssm] BBC was great to work there... it was brilliant to work there.
Yeah, it was a dream... come true
It was a cabbagey dream come true.

both from [url=BBC Comedy Exclusive Interview][/url]