What Bret means to say is...

[size=100:s4k6n1rm]: I did an audition for the Justice League Of America. It was pretty funny: I got there and everyone else auditioning looked like Superman. Really muscly. I wore black leggings and a black long-sleeved T-shirt. I'd made my own superhero costume.

I read the script as if I was flying.

[size=100:vd4ydakn]What’s it like now that you’re celebrities, you know, with girls?

: I’m even more ‘what what’ with the bitches.

[size=100:w06pmpx6]What makes you feel pretty?

: Uninterrupted sleep, compliments, wearing armour, looking at those old pictures of chimpanzees dressed as humans.

sargifster wrote:

[size=100:fyym0q3x]: I did an audition for the Justice League Of America. It was pretty funny: I got there and everyone else auditioning looked like Superman. Really muscly. I wore black leggings and a black long-sleeved T-shirt. I'd made my own superhero costume.

I read the script as if I was flying.

Source: Q magazine



The mental picture...

Amily wrote:

[size=100:ppb3f7fw]What makes you feel pretty?

: Uninterrupted sleep, compliments, wearing armour, looking at those old pictures of chimpanzees dressed as humans.

[url=Source][/url]

hellomyfriend wrote:

[size=100:npjuqwpc]Any more [show scenes] come from real life?

: Sometimes we don't use the band, but there was one in the last episode of the last season, where we're trying to get rid of this other guy, Todd, and we're saying the reason is because he's not cool ...

: Don't say this ...

: {laughs} It's from a real band that Bret was in, where they had to fire someone because he wasn't cool enough.

{Bret looks pissed off}

: It wasn't my idea. I thought it was really unfair. It was f*cking funny though.

source: Front Mag (2009)




This will never stop being hilarious to me.

[size=100:ftv2kjqc] The only reason I would want to do it is to do it better.

Amily wrote:[url=Source][/url]

[size=100:itxvdf21]Why [was filming the show] so difficult?

: Have you tried working? Working is a drag.

[size=100:itxvdf21] : Jemaine went to the Viper Room the other night, got to the door and the woman said, “$10, please.” Then somebody turns to her {mimes whispering} and she goes, “$5, please.” That’s my favorite experience. Not free, but celebrity discount—half-off entrance to a club.

[size=100:itxvdf21]What did you both do before the show?

: I drove a lot. I just drove around.

: I walked. I did theater shows and plays. I made some short films.

: I made albums and toured in a really popular reggae band in New Zealand.


Did you have dreadlocks?

: No, I was black. I only got white when I came to L.A.

: It’s a lot easier to get a TV show when you’re white.

[size=100:itxvdf21]Do you feel dead sometimes?

: I’m sorry?

: I haven’t thought about killing myself, but I suppose I get dark sometimes. I get down and really lonely. Oh, you mean creatively?

[size=100:itxvdf21]Are you really high when you’re in front of the camera?

: Do we look like we’re high?

: No, but we’ve added a few references to smoking pot just because we find them funny. It’s the kind of funny that only we find funny.

[size=100:vnr15vra] : Yesterday we went to a pawnshop looking for instruments. Turns out they also had a lot of cheap weapons. Next to the trombones there were lethal crossbows. There was a gold-plated AK-47, and then a nice ukulele. The flutes were next to the swords—because you never know when you’ll need to kill someone with a sword and then, you know … get out of there. By pretending to be a flautist.

[size=100:0fqsmynb] : Now I’m getting a ride to the airport from some … I think you call them sorority girls? I’ve been trying to get the lowdown on how it all works, ’cause my knowledge is based on Hollywood movies, where everyone’s just really mean. Hang on, I’ll ask—do you guys make out with each other all the time?

Girls: No!

: Yeah—they do!

[size=100:6egxlhl2] : I’m flying to Los Angeles, and I don’t know where I’m going to stay tonight. It’s my friend Dave’s birthday, and I’m going to surprise him, so I need to hide out. You’re the only person I’ve told this, so if you haven’t heard from me by tomorrow, come find me—something has gone really wrong.

[size=100:ha95dif5] : We’ll be writing here in Los Angeles for two months, so I need to find a flat. Yesterday, I looked at one without a kitchen. The lady said, ‘Oh, you like to cook?’ I saw a place today with a koi pond. There’s no koi yet, so right now it’s just a really skanky pond. But it’s got potential.

[size=100:8acmung9] : Now we’re walking up to the venue. Oh, my God, there’s a massive crowd outside. It’s crazy. I’m taking off my glasses as a disguise. There’s a huge line, and a police car. But I think he might just live nearby.

[size=100:l1lk0xv0] : Today is an off day. We were thinking of going to the Grand Canyon, but we found out it’s a four-hour drive, so it would take eight hours total. And that doesn’t even include the looking part. I’ve never been to the desert, so to me it’s exotic. It sounds like cowboys. Maybe we can drink at a saloon, or rob a train. Except trains are pretty fast these days. And all we have is a rental car.

[size=100:sv2dyd5e] : Last night I watched The Golden Compass in my room. I don’t know if you’ve seen the film, but each human has a guardian demon that takes the shape of an animal. They weren’t very demonic, though. My demon would be a lot more troubled—like a talking bottle of booze that sneaks up on me and tricks me with a riddle.

[size=100:39o7zp9t] : We became friends with the Pussycat Dolls backstage. I kept forgetting their names, but then I realized they’re printed on their lingerie. So you just look down.

gezyka wrote:I was just looking for that interview.

[size=100:0giaavcx] : I still don’t have an American cell phone;
right now I’m calling on my friend Pauline’s. I tried to buy one yesterday, but they needed a Social Security number. It’s harder to buy a phone in the U.S. than it is to buy a gun. I’m thinking maybe I should just buy a gun, then steal the phone.

[size=100:y6haadbg]What's the freakiest thing you've ever done?

: Made out in a zebra costume. I turned the lights out and I put on my zebra suit and I turned the lights back on. It didn't go too well. You can kiss with it but she's just kissing a mask so there was no real contact. She wasn't into it. By that stage she'd left. I didn't realise she'd left.


How recent was this?

: This was last night.


You're wearing a zebra suit right now aren't you?

: I haven't got over it (laughs). She was dressed as a cheetah so she was a lot faster. Over a long-distance chase though ...

[size=100:vn6uod51]Is there style the Conchords haven’t done yet? There’s been rock, techno, hip hop

: Well, for all the talk of folk, we hardly ever do folk. So maybe it’s time to do some folk. Bret, when he does his own music, it’s as I said dance music so he loves high production and stuff like that, always adding instruments. If I was more in charge, because Bret’s more in charge of that side of it, if I was more in charge it would be more like a folk album.

[size=100:ww7jvwng]As an Australian, I would like to know why you make fun of Australians so much.

: Because we find them funny.


Why are we funny?

: I guess because Australians are a sort of weaker group of people. Do you know what I mean? {laughing}

[size=100:ujzaz4v9] : We were both very poor at that time. And I remember ... Sometimes in our flat, we would have so little money, that we would try to think of schemes. Like: How can we make some money today so that we can have some dinner? So that sort of thing. But we didn't prostitute ourselves to get dinner. Bret did.

: We didn't.

[size=100:4jdrq9p7] : Most of the stories are based on things that happened to us, like one element, and then we kind of exaggerate it or twist it.

: Yeah, we didn't live in the same room, for example. We lived in a big flat.

: Yeah, we didn't set up a Bert and Ernie situation.

: Some of the stuff is based on the lives of Bert and Ernie.

: We watched a lot of Bert and Ernie. Same(?) things that happened to them. ... We thought: What if Bert and Ernie started a band?